Wow…I can’t believe that is has almost been an entire year
since I wrote last. This year has certainly been filled with lots of news and
moments worth writing about. However, I think this year has also been one of a
great deal of internal processing and processing in prayer with the Lord. It
has been a year filled with great joy and delight, as well as a year filled
with many, many changes. The biggest changes of this year all took place in the
space of a week.
May 2012 was a life-changing month in three particular ways.
On May 5th, I graduated from Azusa Pacific University, with my
Bachelor’s of Science in Social Work. Yes, I am a social worker. The very next
day, May 6th, I married the love of my life and very best friend,
Robert Chifokoyo. The years (literally) of waiting for that day were well worth
it, because I am now doing life each and every day with the man God has blessed
me with. I am thankful. May 7th-11th we honeymooned and
that was a wonderful week. May 13th I moved back to Zimbabwe with my
husband. We were on separate flights, which was awful. But May 13th
was a deeply bittersweet day. You see, I was newly married and so very excited
for life together. However, on the other hand I was saying goodbye to the life
I knew for four years and more than that I was saying goodbye to the family of
friends that God had blessed me with during those four years. I would have to
say that the thought of that day still stings a little. Who knew that so much
excitement and joy could also be wrapped up with so much sadness and
uncertainty. An airport moment has
never been so bittersweet as that one was. As I said goodbye to my three
beautiful, nearest and dearest friends, words seemed too inadequate in
expressing all that we wanted to say. So tears and hugs said what words could
not and I got on a plane back to Zimbabwe, to start a new season of life with
my husband.
The past six months have been filled with intense
adjustment. I believe that marriage is a beautiful adjustment in and of itself.
However, I was also adjusting to being in a “new” country, a new church, a new
social circle and a new house. It felt like there was a lot of “news” and it
was all somewhat overwhelming. Even though I was born in Zimbabwe and lived
here all my life until heading to California for school, somehow this didn’t
feel like “home” anymore. People would ask is it good to be home and out of not
wanting to have to explain I would simple answer “yes!” However, this really
wasn’t’ the case. Yes, I love Zimbabwe and I know that in this time this is
where Rob and I are called to be. However, it no longer felt like home and I
longed for what I hadn’t fully realized had become my home, Azusa, California.
So it has been a time of wrestling with how to make this feel more like home
and the reality is that it doesn’t. But what it does feel like is peace. Peace
that we are where the Lord has asked us to be and we are faithful in that. Many
people that I have tried to share with about this huge transition have shrugged
it off as “Oh, you’re one of those Zimbabweans that thinks the grass is greener
on the other side!” Again, this is not the case. There are things about
American culture that drove me insane, that broke my heart, that challenged me
to stand up for what I believe in and to not give in to societal norms. But
what was there was the family of friends that truly are irreplaceable. My
husband always says to me that friends like the ones you have in Cali are once
in a lifetime kind of friends. He constantly says how he’s never really seen friendship
like that and I have to agree. After six months of being in Zimbabwe, I have to
say that friendships here look very different and if I’m completely honest most
people say that Americans are so shallow. Yes, perhaps some are. But I also
think there are a great deal of Zimbabweans that are shallow. I don’t think we
can generalize in this area, because the friends that I have miles away are the
deepest and most real friendships I have ever had. They still are and I believe
always will be the friends that I share everything with, all the joys and
trials that this life may bring. Those women are the ones that make me long for
“home”.
It is also the belief of some married people here that once
you’re married you don’t need girlfriends or guy friends and I have to say I
disagree. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having friends and enjoying
the gift that they are. I believe that the women that I have gotten to share
life with, helped shape me into the wife that I get to be for my husband.
Through their honest, truthful, loving conversations, challenges and
encouragements, they were sharpening me and preparing me, even if we didn’t
know it at the time. Rob always says how he wishes my friends were closer
because he values the importance of friendship and relationship with others. So
it has been a journey of discovering what I think on certain things and what
Rob and I both value and we most certainly value real, genuine friendship.
Marriage has been a wonderful journey so far and being with
Rob each and every day has been enjoyable after years of being apart. I am so
thankful for the husband that he is, for his gentle and strong love during this
transition time. For his embrace in moments of weakness and weeping, for his
heart that continues to pursue me each day. Above all I am so thankful for his
relentless love of the Lord and how he continues to encourage and sharpen me in
my own walk with the Lord. I am thankful for cooked dinners and clean dishes on
occasion. I am thankful for his encouragement and support always, for his
belief in my dreams and desires. I am thankful that one day when we start a
family, our children will grow up seeing a man that loves the Lord, that is
honest about his short comings, that is willing to risk everything for the sake
of the Gospel and a father that will love them with all of his heart, just as
he does me.
So this is a very small glimpse into the life-changing week
in May, which has brought about wonderful things and has taught me that life is
bittersweet. That when we follow the Lord, he doesn’t promise for our road to
always be easy or for us not to feel lonely, or that life won’t be bittersweet.
But what He does promise us is that He will never leave us or forsake us. That
is a promise that I am learning to hold onto.
