My Special Treat

Ok…so seeing as I have recently committed to and promised myself to write more (based off of my written things blog) instead of going out and buying a new journal I did something else…I got my blog designed!!! J

Doesn’t it just look beautiful?!

A BIG thank you to a beautiful and gifted woman, Christa!!! I highly recommend her...you can discover more about her and some of her other designs here. She is wonderful!!

So…I am loving my newly designed blog and this season of renewed writing.

Hope you are all having a beautiful Saturday!

Written Things...

So there is something solid about something that is written…love poems…stories…the Bible…goodbye letters…in each of these there is something solid. I am someone that loves to write…I have been writing journals for years now and have boxes full of them. However, over the past few years of life my journaling has been sporadic…here and there…I have maybe made it through 4 or 5 journals over the past three years…that for me is terrible. Usually in 3 months I could go through more than 4 or 5 journals. My mum always bought me journals as well as friends, because every one knew that that was the perfect gift for me…too write away.

Writing for me has been my release my escape…my way of surrendering. However, for the past couple of years there has not been a lot of that and so I find myself here where I am today and realize that I haven’t been surrendering…releasing or processing in the way that I know is the healthiest for me. Not journaling has been another way that I have been running…another way of attempting to be in complete control. So here it is the beginning of a new season for me…a season of finding the rest that comes when I write because when I write I am not merely writing, I am letting go … forgiving … releasing … surrendering…processing but above all…I am ultimately healing!!! I don’t write merely for the enjoyment or the satisfaction of having people read it but rather writing is the way in which I allow myself to be vulnerable…I open the parts of me that not many times are opened and the parts that not many people get to share in…those hidden parts…those sacred parts…but here I am getting vulnerable because there is something beautiful that happens when we strip everything away and we are who we are … whole … broken…hurt…happy…scared…brave…ugly…beautiful…all of us is revealed when we choose to be vulnerable…because it is in that moment that we realize its not even about us but rather it is about our big and powerful and mighty God that holds us oh so gently in the palm of His hand. That when we are vulnerable His glory shines through because without Him we are nothing.

So today as I write I am thankful for the healing that is happening in me…for the grace and glory of the Lord that shines through my weaknesses…I am thankful for vulnerability and for the gift of writing. I am thankful for written things…for the solidity we find in things written…the writings that will tell of the seasons and changes in life but beyond that the written things that will remind us of the glory of our God and that through whichever written things, He remains the ultimate writer and author of everything and that what He writes is good and perfect. 

Some of the things I love...

I love…my family. I have been blessed with the most amazing mum! She is a woman that goes above and beyond in everything in life. Her courage, strength and determination inspire me. She is fun loving and I don’t know anyone that finds it hard to get along with her. I am thankful for the values she raised me with and for the heart to love all people no matter what. I deeply hope that one day I will be a beautiful mother just like her. My two younger brothers are wonderful. They are growing into great young men and I am so proud of both of them and love them deeply.

                                                                 Brad, Me, Boyd, Mum

I love…my soon to be family. They are wonderful people with big hearts and a lot of love. They have embraced me with a genuine love and care, even before I was going to be part of the family.

The Chifokoyo Men

Rob (my fiance), TJ, Julius (future father-in-law), Mudiwa, Karl

Olivia (future mother-in-law) 

Tj and Melissa

Caelis and Kieran (niece and nephew)

I love…my girl friends…I am so thankful for each and every one of them…for the joy they bring to my life. There is a depth like no other to these relationships…they are more than friends…they are my family. We have bonded over coffee dates, movies, living together, traveling together, crying together, laughing together and doing life together no matter how wonderful or how challenging. They add beauty and sincerity to my life. They are an amazing example of being the body. They are my life-long treasure, friends and sisters whom I love deeply.

 Beansie my bestie

Nicole, me, Augusta

Beans, Schmeller, Schmouse

 My beautiful Butterfly (Asher)

Me, Regina (Gigi) and Bre

 Me and Nicole (AKA Schmeller...roomies for all 4years of college)

 Me and Megan (my beautiful angel of a friend)

 Nicole, Megan, me, Beans

(A day that I will NEVER forget)

I love…the children in Zimbabwe that have forever changed my heart. I am thankful for each of their lives and the blessing of being a part of their lives. I love them deeply. The joy that beams out of each of them is deeply moving and profound. Their smiles are filled with a deep sense of gratitude for life each and every day, it is humbling. I have learned life lessons and values from spending time with them; they change my life every moment. I have learned grace, humility, thankfulness, patience, perseverance, determination, faith and HOPE from each of them. So they are one of the areas of my life that I love the most.

 Anna and Tino

 Me and Tino

 Blessing (AKA BB)

 Gamu

 Tadiwa

 Tino

Rob teaching/talking to some of the kids

I love…when people have a heart to change the world, when they desire justice and equality for all, when they appreciate that Christ sacrificed everything for ALL people, when people will go beyond their comfort zones to not only meet the needs of others…but to empower them to meet their own needs, to equip them and educate them. I love when people love others.

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I love…the ocean…there is something serene and humble and peaceful about being by the ocean. God’s creation is breath taking and the ocean is just one of the examples of that. I love the feeling of the sand between my toes and the water washing up on my feet, as I gaze into the vast mass of water that lies ahead of me. There is something very special about water for me, it represents life and renewal, and it washes away dirty stains and cleanses wounds. It is representative of the Living Water, Christ.

I love…arts and crafts. Making things with my hands is deeply rewarding and satisfying. I enjoy seeing something unique and beautiful made out of something that appears to be nothing.

http://eisymorgan.blogspot.com

http://somedaycrafts.blogspot.com

http://handmaderecess.blogspot.com

http://pinklemonade-blog.com

I absolutely love quotes…they can be inspiring, challenging, refreshing, emotional, simple, unique, quirky, light-hearted, sincere…they can be anything really and for the most part I will love them. They are small gems found in the places you least expect them sometimes.

“Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.” - Mother Teresa

“Words which do not give the light of Christ increase the darkness.” - Mother Teresa

“An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.” -Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” -Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Prayer without action grows into powerless pietism, and action without prayer degenerates into questionable manipulation." - Henri Nouwen

“You are more than dust and bones. You are spirit and power and image of God. And you have been given Today." - Shauna Niequist

"Love is always bestowed as a gift-freely, willingly, and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love." - Leo Buscaglia

‎"True compassion is more than flinging a coin to a beggar; it is not haphazard and superficial. It comes to see that an edifice which produces beggars needs restructuring." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

I love…African sunsets! They are breathtaking!

A little bit of who I am...

Hi there…

My name is Lisa Dawn Rouse, however my last name will be changing in just over a year. I am SO excited.

 Redeeming Love is the name of my blog, because it is the story of my life and who I am. I have been redeemed by the love of Christ and His ultimate sacrifice for me and for you. That in itself is reason enough to write.

I live in Zimbabwe, Africa. However, I am currently studying Social Work at Azusa Pacific University in Azusa, California. I love my home country; it is a beautiful place and has the potential to be the breadbasket of Africa. It has had a challenging past filled with hatred, war and a great deal of bloodshed. However, I believe that anything is possible with God and that it is on the journey of healing and becoming all that it was intended to be. My heart for Zimbabwe and its people is huge. I desire to see change and restoration take place and I believe that part of my purpose is to be a tool in bringing that about. Pursuing my BSW is a huge part of God’s plan in equipping me for the work I hope to do back home. It has been a challenging and beautiful journey, living in another country for what will be four years and being far away from the ones I love and the country I love. But it will all be worth it! J I am so thankful for this amazing opportunity and privilege of furthering my education and being able to use it to further the lives of many.

So as I mentioned earlier, my name will be changing in just over a year. YES, I am getting married. I am engaged to the most amazing man I know, Robert Itayi Chifokoyo. He is gentle, kind, loving, funny, supportive, encouraging, strong, and bold, oh how I could go on. The thing I love the most about him is the way he loves the Lord and his heart to serve the Lord with all that he has. He has a heart for the forgotten people and to see them come to know the saving grace of Jesus Christ. He longs for people to know the freedom, grace, and redemption that he has found in Christ. His heart is HUGE! I am so very blessed to be loved by him, romanced by him, and to be getting ready to spend the rest of my life with him. Our journey has been a long beautiful one. It has certainly had it’s dark moments, but the Lord has been gracious and merciful to us each step of the way. We have grown and learned so much through our almost ten years of being friends and I am so grateful that next year our journey together will continue in a new way, a beautiful way, as husband and wife. There is nothing that sounds better than spending the rest of my life with my very bestest friend. I love you Robert Itayi!

Thanks for stopping by and reading a little about who I am!

Love and blessings!

Rest

What does it mean to rest? Hmm...If only I knew ;) Well...this is an interesting season in life for me. I am learning, well more honestly attempting to learn what rest is. It's a word that we use often, however the true meaning of rest is not always used, just like the word love, rest is over used. Unfortunately our society doesn't celebrate periods of rest, we celebrate over great achievements and awards. However we never seem to celebrate rest, because if we are honest with ourselves we are probably deeply afraid of REST. I know that I most certainly am. I am a slight over-achiever; it doesn't have to be in merely academics, it can be in anything. It's terrible. I have to always be busy doing something, whether it is rushing from a class, to an appointment, to work, to a staff meeting, to an event, back to class, don't forget those coffee dates with the girls and then it all starts over again. Weekends jam packed back to back with busyness, wanting to see everybody and do everything, wanting to achieve both my self-goals as well as the things that I think people expect of me. By no means am I proud of all this busyness; rather I am ashamed of it.

So you may be wondering, just like me, well why now write about this. Why realize this now...good question!! :) I think if I had it my way I wouldn't be reflecting on all this stuff. However, for the past 7weeks I have been very ill and it ended with a 2-day stay in the hospital, no fun! So if there is one thing in my life that is constant it is that the Lord uses each and every aspect of my life to teach me something. HE teaches me even when I don't think I am being taught something or that he is talking to me. That is how I felt in the hospital. I felt alone. Yes, my wonderful friends and American family came to visit me and love on me. However, there was this deep sense of loneliness and I couldn't help but want to know why or what it was. It wasn't that God was far away but rather it was that I was far away from myself and the person I desire to be, I was alone because I hadn't stopped for a very long time and spent time with myself and here I was lying in a hospital bed, an IV in my arm, with a bunch of different things going through it, and nothing but myself. I was alone.

In this moment more than anything I wanted to pull that IV out and run, run into the busyness of life, run to class, run to work and run back to class.... I wanted to run. Then it dawned on me that there was something wrong with this picture. Yes, everyone that has been in hospital wants to get out of there, cause it’s awful. However, for me it was different, it was more than merely being in hospital it was this dead holt that my life had come to and all I could think of was everything I still had to get done, papers, assignments, appointments, work...but that is not what I needed to be concerned about. I needed to take a moment to be concerned about what my life was looking like and that pretty much if I carried on along this journey that I would end up a lot worse, completely burnt out and broken down by all the busyness, stress and anxiety.

I am definitely not finding this realization easy. It is hard and painful. There have been lots of tears and processing conversations and lots and lots of prayer and talking with the Lord. I am realizing more and more during this time that I have a constant need to be in control and for everything to always be ok (yes, those of you that know me so well are either nodding or giggling away at this because yes it is indeed true). So there it is the big thing that plagues me during this time, control and everything being ok. I am learning though that "okayness" is not always guaranteed. That there are certainly moments when it feels like the ground beneath me has turned into sinking sand and what I thought was okay isn’t, but the other part of that is that God doesn’t promise everything will be ok BUT what He does promise is that He will never leave of forsake us. So in the midst of the ground turning into sinking sand He is there, in the midst of doctors appointments and hospitals He is there, in the midst of exams He is there and in the midst of death, brokenness, pain, heartache, He is right there. For this I am thankful for because I don’t need to be in control because my God is bigger than any thing I go through and He is not shocked when these stretching and painful seasons come, He is not confused or unsure of what will happen, because He knows, because He is my creator and He is in control.

Rest…this word fascinates me and as I said earlier I am attempting to learn what it truly means and learning how we rest and do we do it well…I don’t know…but what I do know is that I need rest and that I am finding rest in the small ways that I can…I am finding rest in the Lord…in reading books…in writing…in prayer…in conversations…and in beautiful still and silent moments. 

Today was a beautiful day...

Today was a beautiful day…

    I got to go and try on wedding dresses with three of my beautiful friends/sisters/bridesmaids, Augusta (Beans), Megan and Nicole. It started off with wonderful treats from Starbucks and then a twenty minute drive to Montclair, a near by city. On the way there there was lots of chatter in the car…however inside my stomach was turning I was so excited and yet so very nervous all at the same time. I wondered what I would look like dressed up as a bride…would I be as beautiful as I had always dreamed…well I certainly wasn’t expecting what was to come.

    On arrival I was greeted and handed some paper work to fill out and then I met Tanya, sweet Tanya who was going to be my wedding consultant for the day, she was gentle and sweet, which was just the perfect fit for me and for this day. We discussed different things I like and then Tanya was off to find dresses while I had to change into more fitting attire to try on wedding dresses ;) Then in came Tanya with the first dress, it was pretty but definitely not all that I had imagined or hoped for…I stepped out of the fitting room on to the platform and the girls all commented and so did Tanya and so did I…on what I liked and didn’t like…then it was on to the next dress…which Nicole, had already told me she didn’t like. It was a dress that was slightly shorted at the front and then getting longer in the back…it was interesting and different…just not the one. So the girls and I decided to take some fun pics, while Tanya went on the search for another dress for me to try.

    When she found one we headed on back to the fitting room while doing this Tanya said how she wasn’t sure if this is what I would like but that it seemed to have a lot of my ideas combined in one and so it was worth a try…and so…it was BEAUTIFUL! As I walked out all the girls gasped at the beauty they saw. I walked over to the platform…looked long and hard in the mirror and started to gently cry…crying at how beautiful I felt…I don’t think I have ever felt so beautiful in all my life…and it wasn’t just the beautiful wedding dress I was in…it was the overwhelming beauty of love…the love that I get to experience with the most amazing man…the beauty of being his bride and the beauty of being his wife…it was a moment that my heart will never forget…a moment filled with depth of beauty, overwhelming joy, and an excitement that felt so peaceful.

Today was a beautiful day!