Healing...

Healing is painful…whether it is physical or emotion…it is still painful. After surgery, the recovery process is painful, your body is healing, if it’s a hip replacement, you need time to begin walking again and this process is painful. So just like physical healing, emotional healing is painful. Healing is something that I have struggled with for a large part of my life, I have been sick time and time again and believing for healing has been a challenge. I have been told I simply don’t have enough faith, as well as, that I haven’t tried the latest doctors or technologies. Regardless of what people say, I believe that my healing will come at some point.

Currently however, I am on a different type of journey of healing, I am healing emotionally. I am healing from wounds that I have kept bandaged up for a long time, and wounds I have tried to pretend are not there, until they begun infecting others parts of my being. Emotional healing is painful. There are days, well most days, that I wish I could say it wasn’t. Days when the depth of my soul cries out, but then are those days, the days of hope and sunshine, the days of knowing that this process is called healing and that I am walking in that each and every moment. These are the days that I love, these are the days that encourage not only me, but those around me, these are the days that God’s glory shines through and it is impossible to deny His existence, these are the days of healing.

I think the reason healing is so painful is because there is something that needs to be removed and that is painful, just like taking off a band aid is painful when your little, so is the removal of other things, body parts, bondage, lies, abuse, hurt, un-forgiveness, hate, anger, frustration, denial, etc. The removal is painful but in order to heal, removal is necessary. From there it is then the mending of the wound, the empty place, which then turns into a scar, which for a while, when looking at it, may still be painful BUT after time, it becomes a beautiful reminder of surviving, of fighting, of letting go, of determination, of ashes that were turned into beauty, and of the mourning that becomes joy. Healing is painful but ultimately healing is beautiful.